Fresh from his victory at the 2006 UK Beatboxing Championships UP's resident Hip Hoperator Beatamax linked with Beardyman to get the downlow(Surely "Lowdown"- Ed.) on all things oral.

UP: So, congratulations on being 2006 UK Beatbox Champion, how does it feel to be the boss officially?

Beardyman: Daunting. Its tough at the top mate. Haters everywhere. Nowhere's safe. I'm a paranoid wreck. I don't know who I am anymore and my shoulders hurt from the burden.

UP: Were you confident that you would win?

Beardyman: Yeah, I was. But I knew the only way I'd actually win would be by putting the effort in. I worked hard and focused and I did it. I'd done a fair few battles and have always believed I'm the best. So when I've lost a battle it really cuts me up. I've gone away and re-assessed my approach and made a point of analysing what I did wrong and what I could do better. Also, it's always been about having a laugh and I think that comes across in my shows. I've always had my mates there to joke around with, make it fun and a challenge me to be the best. They've always been honest and pointed out my strengths and weaknesses so that I can work on getting better.

UP: How many years practice has it taken you to get this far?

Beardyman: Well, I've been making noises since i can remember. It started with raspberries at nursery. My mum used to come up to the teacher at the end of every day and solemnly ask if I'd been blowing raspberries again. But it's only since I heard that infamous "If your mother only knew" thing (Rahzel's Prince skit) that I realised you could make noises and have people clap and cheer instead of look at you funny.

UP: Whereabouts do you come from?

Beardyman: Originally London, but I've been living in Brighton for six years now. I love it in Brighton. It's fun and you can do what you like and no-one bats an eyelid.

UP: What sort of music were you exposed to via your family growing up?

Beardyman: Via my family? A lot of "times-tables tapes," you know the ones where you hear a song going over and over the 3 times table and they expect a kid to remember it. It's like someone wearing fancy dress costume reading out an instruction pamphlet for assembling some flat packed furniture and expecting kids to remember everything they've said. What else? Abba, The Beatles, Kate Bush, Michael Jackson, Lionel Richie. Apparently I used to be mesmirised by that song "Hello," the one with the shocking video where the blind girl touching up a bust of Lionel Richie's head. They'd put the song on and i'd just sit there gawping and wouldn't blow a single raspberry. I wish they'd played me some Parliament or Bob Marley or Pink Floyd. I had to wait years to discover the decent music that was being made while my parents where dancing to E.L.O. and Chicago Transit Authority.

UP: What inspired you to first start beatboxing?

Beardyman: Rahzel . It's that "Singing and beatboxing-at-the-same-time-shit" that just blows everyone away. People still think it's possible.It's like some sort of Hip Hop magic trick. It got me too. But I'd always been making beats and tunes with my mouth but just hearing Rahzel, hearing his album and his techniques was a real mind- opener. In 2001 I had my computer set up with these wicked speakers but my CD player was broken and I had no internet so all i had to listen to for like half a year was his album which I'd managed to rip to my computer. I learnt his techniques and became sure i could be just as successful as I had all the building blocks to make a wicked beatboxer.

UP: Did you ever used to get embarrassed when you first started out if what you were doing sounded a bit, well, shit?

Beardyman: I still do. I'm very critical. I don't get stage fright but I am a massive perfectionist. My standards are raising all the time. The game is getting tougher and more and more talented youngsters are coming up. It's already gone mainstream in Australia in an embarrassing and ugly way. They had a subsection of 'Australian Idol' devoted to making the Beatbox Alliance a kind of "Beatbox boyband." It's the most rubbishest thing ever. But still, I wish beatboxing had been around like it is today when i was a kid. I thought I was weird. In actual fact I was a burgeoning performer. Who'd of thunk it?

UP: You do "BattleJam" with a D.J. called JFB, tell us a bit about that.

UP: Battlejam is a party night in Brighton run by JFB and myself, with several habitual contributors including Ed Solo, Klum-z-Tung M.C. and many others. Every night we've done has been wicked and we've done a fair few now- it's been about a year since the first. We sample the crowd and make tunes out of whatever they've said or sung or shouted. We try to use as few actual pre-recorded tracks as possible and do most of our stuff live. It's all made possible by the looping and sampling gear we've got. Instead of using it to make beard- stroky soundscapes or standard D.J. sets like most do we make this mental party happen, peppered with battles between me and JFB to get the crowd hyped . Some people are too scared to say shit on the mic so I bully them 'til they either do or run away. Others love it - the drunk ones usually. .

We've done Battlejam nights in Brighton, London, Amsterdam, Austria and we ain't stopping any time soon. Come check it at battlejam myspace I've also got an M.C. and beatbox thing going on with Klum-z-Tung as the Gobfathers. It's all on gobfathers myspace. I think you'll like it.

UP: Are you working on any records right now?

Beardyman: Yep, got a record I'm making with Lee "Muddy" Baker. A genius producer from Brighton. He uses the force, and Cubase. He produced Tim Booth's solo album and has made some of the most beautiful music you'll ever hear working with Brightonian songstress Lisa Lindley-Jones. I'm also working on an E.P. with Ed Solo. It's a Drum'n'Bass, Breaks & Dubstep ting, all made from my mouth. It's sounding sick so far. Also I'm working on an accapella project with Disraeli from Bad Science- soundscapes and poetry.

UP: Now, the other day I almost pissed myself laughing watching that Bernhard Steinerhoff clip on your Myspace. For anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about, can you explain the story for us?

Beardyman: Bernhard Steinerhoff- that's well funny. I pretended I was an environmentalist speaker at this massive architecture and design conference. I only meant it as a way to get some work experience, as I needed experience in that industry as that was my degree, but this was before i decide to devote myself completely to music. I say something like "I'm an impoverished student, please give me work!" at the end. That was quite a while ago now. Funnily enough I never got any offers of design work, but I've got loads of corporate beatbox gigs in a similar vein. I did this one for Nokia the other day where I had to pretend I was Geoff Beardeman (pronounced as if its a Jewish surname)- well funny. Corporate stuff is where the wonga is man- and i'm broke.

UP: In terms of UK hip-hop right now, who is hot in your opinion?

Beardyman: Jehst is fuckin' wicked. The Foreign Beggars are shit hot too. They've got some sick tunes out. With any luck they'll be remembered as some of the originators in the UK scene. I rate them highly. Also Roots Manuva, also Phi Life Cypher's sick. Played with them live and dem dropped some wicked freestyles boy, ya don't know!

UP: What's the first tape you ever bought?

Beardyman: Now 21. It introduced me to Radiohead, Rednex and Scatman John.

UP: What's the last CD/Vinyl/MP3 you bought or downloaded?

Beardyman: The last one I bought was Kate Bush's new album- her first in like 15 years. She's a recluse now but she's still a genius. The last thing I downloaded was a Hospital Records podcast, or it might have been Ras Kwame's show. I can't remember.

UP: Who's the best cartoon / comic book villain ever?

Beardyman: Dick Dastardly. 'Cause he's rubbish! I love how rubbish he is. Even his dog knows he's rubbish.

UP: And who's your favourite hero?

Beardyman: Batman. He became his deepest fear which is badboy. And he's the only one who's actually got a tenable back story. And he's a bit dark and twisted, unlike Superman, who is a hybrid of the Nietzschian Ubermench and Jesus. Scary biscuits.

UP: Now seeing as you're called Beardyman, what's the longest you've ever grown your beard?

Beardyman: Down to my knees. No, I've only ever really had goatees and Craig David- style face daubings. My girlfriend won't let me grow it 'cause she says it hurts her face- which is a shame. I want a big fuck-off wizard beard like Gandalf. That'd be bad. I'd go around on a Harley in leathers and Raybans spitting at strangers.

UP: Have you ever had a bird with a tash, and if so did you have to get rid of her because of it ?

Beardyman: I once pulled a girl with a bit of a tash. That was when I was like 14. I'm sure she's done something about it by now. If she hasn't she'll probably look like Nigel Mansell now. Mmmmmmm, Nigel Mansell.

Words by Beatamax